Never have I ever been to Zumba…until yesterday. I suck and didn’t wake up at 5:30 am yesterday. I know, I know, I should have, but the bed was just too warm and cozy and great. So, I made a pact to myself that I would go to the gym in the evening instead. I looked up classes on my gym website and saw that Zumba was from 5:30-6:30. Sounds great, right?

I’ve mainly never been to Zumba because I haven’t been a gym regular. I thought, why not give it a shot? Should be a good workout and fun too! I got to the gym a few minutes early. I went into the classroom and women were gearing up all around me, ready to dance it up. I decided to move to the back of the room, next to the only other white girl in the class. She looked nice, so I told her it was my first class. She shouted out, ME TOO! Thank goodness, awkward first class partners in crime.

A few before class observations: 

There was one guy in the class. A completely business-esque, white, middle aged guy. He looked more like a golfer than a Zumba afficianado, but what do I know.

Many 40-50 year old-ish women were dressed in “Zumba-wear”- basically really bagging cargo pants with the Zumba logo on them, tight colorful tank tops, and sweat bands with Zumba logos. Does this make you dance better? Did I miss the memo on the dress code?

The instructor came in. She was decked out in Zumba wear, head to toe. She was Latino and had a cute accent and was really fired up. She told us that the only rules of Zumba were to dance your hearts out and have fun. Sounds good to me.

The first song started. I thought, this seems fun! Then, she started dancing. What.the.heck. She was moving so fast my eyes hurt to watch her. I literally have no idea how anyone could learn these dances, they are so fast. She also gives no cues, just a lot of loud “aye aye ayesss!” and clapping. Always helps the learning process. I looked like an idiot. After 5 mins, I decided to stop looking at myself in the mirror because it was just too embarrassing. Most of the time I was just dancing around in circles. Sometimes I got a step or combination, but then she was immediately on to another thing. Awkward. The other new girl and I kept looking at eachother, shrugging and laughing. At least someone else felt like an idiot.

During class observations:

A woman smack dab in the middle of the front row was on fire. Just living the dream. She was POURING sweat. I was wondering how on earth she could sweat that much in the class since I was just dancing around in a circle. She must go to Zumba every day.

Several women towards the back of the room talked during the whole class. Just chatting it up while dancing, but still getting all the steps completely right. I wish I had that kind of coordination.

I realized, sadly, that I have ZERO “Latin” rhythm. I just looked stupid. I can’t do the salsa. Or the meringue. Or the tango. I just look like a sad white girl trying to dance.

All in all, the class was ok, but not great. I didn’t even break a sweat because I was too busy reeling from the crazy steps. Maybe I got a decent workout? Who knows. All I know is I wanted to go run on the treadmill afterwards, and I NEVER want to do that.



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